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Gossip In The Workplace Training – Few things sow division and division faster than gossip. It disengages employees, divides teams, and destroys productivity.
In short, NO good comes from gossip. And yet many organizations are so full of gossip that some employees begin to see it as “normal and natural” and talk about it as if “that’s the way things are around.”
Gossip In The Workplace Training
Other employees joked about gossip. One person said, “I never gossip anymore, so listen up.” And Earl Wilson said, “Gossip is hearing something you like about someone you don’t.”
Workplace Gossip: A Social Glue Or A Gummy Situation?
I even tell people in my program, “Partnership Payoff: 7 Keys To Better Relationships and Great Teamwork,” the beavers multiply, and it leads to more dam headaches. And the same is true of gossip. It is wide and wide.
So what can you do to create a clutter-free culture? That was the challenge, the 23-year-old young man had to face when he first became a senior leader in a church. After all, he should be the leader of a church full of people who have children and grandchildren who are older than him. Talk about scary and talk about a place ripe for gossip.
In order to be successful in that area, a man named Charles Christian created “10 Laws of Gratitude” and released them to everyone. He commits himself to certain behaviors and expects the same from his people. Although I have revised Charles’ list, which was published in the “Leadership Magazine,” summer 1999 issue, I think much of it is still relevant today.
For a no-nonsense, no-retirement work environment, I have learned that you must ask each and every person in the organization to commit to a positive, professional code of communication guidelines. Here they are.
Four Ways To Manage And Get Rid Of Workplace Gossip
Don’t talk to other people about my behavior or the “problem” I’ve become…before you talk to me. Don’t let me be the last to know. I should not hear about your problem with me from a second or third party.
And if the matter is an emotional one, if you are not sure how I will react to your statement or instruction, if the discussion has the potential to become emotional, then for heaven’s sake, don’t do it by email. Have enough guts to talk to me.
It is better to schedule a time to talk by telephone. But once again, if possible in public, or at least face to face (especially if technology is involved), and do it privately.
I will talk to you instead ABOUT you. I know the danger of spreading my problem with you to many other people. Then, where two or three come together, I know that the beast manifests itself.
Gossip In The Workplace
3. If someone has a problem with me and comes to you, send it to me. (And I’ll do the same for you.)
Remember your rights. You have the right to remain silent… and maybe you should… until the other person and I have had a chance to talk. If you’re too quick with your two cents worth, you can make things worse.
Follow Rodney Dangerfield’s advice. In situations like this, Rodney says, “Always watch out for #1 but never get into #2.”
4. If someone doesn’t come to me every time, say, “Let’s go see him. I am sure he will talk to us about this.” (And I’ll do the same for you.)
An Employer’s Primer On Dealing With Rumors In The Workplace
Of course conflict is scary. Sometimes it’s easier if you go with a friend… who encourages you to share feelings and observations… and who can keep the discussion on track.
Please remember, when you bring a friend, your friend comes as a helper and mediator of the discussion, not as a friend who will help you pile on me or someone else. It is not about who is right and who is wrong. Sharing it is about caring… caring about the situation, caring about the people involved, and caring enough to make things better.
5. I will refrain from judging and stereotyping you. I will seek to understand you before I “interpret” you. (And I expect the same from you.)
First impressions are always lasting impressions. Unfortunately, they are often wrong. They are based on minimal information and colored by past experiences with other people who are “supposed” to be like them.
Dealing With Toxic Gossip At Work
In contrast, in a healthy, positive, stimulating workplace, people take the time to really get to know each other. Steve Goodier reported that in his book “Your Life Support Plan.” It tells the story of a particular department store where nobody likes Laura. She is a snob who does very well to socialize with the rest of the staff.
But one day Maude, who works across from Laura, decides it’s time for things to change. He thought he’d start by poking fun at Laura’s vanity, and if he accepted that, maybe the two of them could have a real conversation about something.
Maude approached Laura’s work station and said, “You know, every time I look up, I see your head over that window behind you. I think you have the best profile and hair I’ve ever seen. ” To Maude’s surprise, Laura began to cry.
“That’s the first kind thing anyone has said to me in all the years I’ve worked here,” Laura explained.
Ways To Effectively Handle Gossip In The Workplace
Maude thought it was awful and wasn’t sure what to say next. This is not an answer that you have prepared yourself for. Laura is not the snob everyone has made her out to be. She is very shy and afraid to talk to anyone at first. The department has completely judged her this whole time, and the gossip industry is full of comments about Laura’s supposed snobbish, better-than-thou mindset.
Somehow Maude managed to say the right thing that kept Laura talking. He and Laura became friends, and this influenced the other workers to go with Laura as well. All the positive attention helps Laura come out of her shell, and for the first time people recognize her for who she really is… instead of what the gossip says she is.
People are not always what they seem. So don’t judge them. Get to know them before you think you have them all figured out.
Look for the deeper meaning… as a child in Sunday School should have done. After they told him the story of David and Goliath, they asked him what the moral of the story was. He said, “Duck.”
Top 4 Reasons Why People Gossip At Work
There is nothing to be gained by adding my fantasy and imagination to your lack of courage and honesty.
7. I will become more confident, and I will not listen to what others say so that you will have confidence.
When you tell me something in confidence, you can be sure that your sharing will be kept strictly confidential. I will not tell anyone what you said unless (a) you want to hurt yourself, (b) you want to hurt someone else, or (c) a child who has been abused. And I expect the same code of privacy from you.
If someone comes to me and wants to tell me what someone else told me, I will first ask, “Did someone else give you permission to tell me this?” If the answer is “No,” I will politely decline the conversation. And I expect the same code of privacy from you.
Tips For Dealing With Gossip At Work
There are two scriptures that say: “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy.” But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!”
That is a radical philosophy… when everything in you wants to have it even with the person who hurt you or said bad things about you. But if you are able to get the real meaning of those verses, you will learn to deal with opposition, hatred, jealousy, and revenge with courage, strength, and wisdom…without adding any of your own gossip. As the old Italian proverb teaches, if you scatter thorns, you cannot go without legs.
One of my clients is a Wall Street brokerage firm, and one of the leaders of the organization told me how Wall Street can be rough, tough, and competitive. He said there is a lot of trouble these days, and under the calmness, some people who are in his office will calm down, and they will start beating each other or they will start emptying each other.
And yet this particular leader seems composed and rarely if ever drawn into criticism and gossip. I asked him how he did it. He told me, “When I was young, I was very afraid of criticism. I will take every word of cross as a personal grudge. Sometimes I join them by returning their criticism for criticism. Sometimes I get angry.”
Gossip In The Workplace: More Positive Effects Than You Think
“Then I heard a preacher say a phrase from Scripture, ‘and it happened.’ It occurred to me that this is what happens with criticism…
