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Have you already spent too much time choosing the right birthday card for your boy/girl? Well, I’m sorry, but the truth is, that’s only half the battle. The hardest part is yet to come…
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What should you write in it? I guess you are tired of these plain and boring happy birthday wishes and want something more original? You have nothing to worry about because I got you. I have compiled a list of funny birthday wishes that will make your birthday celebrant LOL.
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There are some dates that you should not forget at all costs, and I really mean that. These are the birth dates of your romantic partner, friends and family.
Remembering their special day and wishing them a happy birthday will show them that you appreciate and love them and that you are deeply grateful for their presence in your life.
So, let’s get down to the nitty gritty and find the best birthday message to make your loved one feel happy and loved on their special day.
Well, you’ve already bought the perfect gift and found the most adorable birthday greeting card for your special someone. Now all you need is a unique birthday message to include in this card that will make your gift complete and radiate good emotions.
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I’ve got that part covered for you. In this list below, you will find the wittiest, funniest birthday messages and wishes for your loved one.
1. I can never forget your birthday. It always comes after the day you remind me. Happy Birthday.
3. I always limit my budget when buying birthday gifts based on what that person gave me on my birthday. Enjoy your gift of nothing!
4. May the Almighty shower you with luck to follow these dreams and also a bucket of water to wake you from them.
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5. I promise when you get old and forget, I won’t let you forget to wash your hands after peeing or feeding your cat the cat food, not yourself. Have a wonderful birthday!
6. I tried to find something that represented the year you were born. Unfortunately, the shops were closed. Happy Birthday.
8. Forget about the past; you cannot change it. Forget about the future; you can’t predict it. Forget about the present; I didn’t get you one.
12. We thought we’d get just the right amount of candles to put on your cake this year, but we quickly ran out of room. Happy Birthday!
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13. I wish a great day to the most beautiful and intelligent person I know. This is me. A very happy birthday to you too.
15. Don’t think of them as wrinkles. Think of them as pleats that just need a little starch and a little ironing. Cheers to another year and another crease.
16. I wish you the happiest birthday. May you have the energy and excitement of a 2-year-old, but not the amount of teeth.

17. Another year, another birthday to organize, another headache. Better get used to the headache; they become more common as middle age approaches!
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18. You had me at “there will be cake and ice cream.” Happy birthday to a truly special person who adores candy!
20. Yes, we’ve reached that age… When every compliment we get is usually followed by “for your age.” However, you still look great… for your age21. Happy Birthday! Can you believe we used to think people our age were adults and had their lives sorted?
23. As we age, three things happen. The first thing is that your memory is fading, and I can’t remember the other two.
24. Congratulations! You’re one year closer to being able to get that senior discount at Target and wear the underwear you can pee in!
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25. If you look back over all the years you’ve lived, the first thing you’ll notice is that you need a telescope.
26. I’m going to stop making age jokes on your birthday now… you’ve reached the age where it’s really not funny anymore.
28. I may not remember where I put my car keys at our age, but I definitely remember your birthday! Have a great birthday.
29. Just remember, the more candles on the cake, the bigger the cake will be! Now, who’s laughing?
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33. Happy birthday to you. I hope you enjoy your day as much as I enjoy eating free cake and ice cream.
34. Chuck Norris wanted to apologize for not being able to come to your birthday. He was busy geocaching in Antarctica. Happy Birthday.
36. Today is my big day. For those looking to send a truly memorable gift, I accept PayPal, Venmo, Zelle, Google Pay and Cash App.
37. Oh yes! You are approaching the age when the government sends you money every month. Happy Birthday!
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38. One of the best pieces of advice in life is “you have to appreciate the little things.” However, I know that noticing the little things is easier said than done at your age! Happy Birthday!
39. Your birthday comes only once a year, but the wrinkles it brings will last a lifetime. 40. Congratulations on another year well lived.
41. Today I gathered the courage to stand in front of you, look you in the eyes, hold your hand and tell you… that I’m only here for the cake.
43. I didn’t get you a present or a happy birthday card, but please accept this empty happy birthday wish sent via social media.
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45. If “only the good die young,” I’m afraid you’ll only be celebrating a few more birthdays.
47. Blowing out those candles and want to get rich overnight? Keep blowing! Because this crap doesn’t work.
48. Did you know Chuck Norris was born on your birthday? Just kidding. That would be quite the shocker, though, wouldn’t it? Your birthday is still on a pretty good day.
50. Party like it’s 1959, when you can still dance and drink alcohol without ending up in the hospital.
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51. I got you a stress ball as a present. With all the stress of getting older, you know.
52. For your birthday, I wanted to buy you something to remind you of your youth, but cave art and dinosaur bones were sold out.
54. Best wishes! I’d say you don’t look another year older, but if I tell a lie now, it might make everything else I say later unbelievable. All kidding aside, you look pretty good for your age!
55. The emergency room is on speed dial just in case you have an unexpected asthma attack that blows out the candles.
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57. Your wife tells you that you definitely get better with age. Does this mean you’ve started taking out the trash? Happy Birthday.
58. There’s nothing to be upset about when you think about your age… Especially when you can’t even remember it! Happy birthday though!
59. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is unknown, but the present… I didn’t get it. 60. Happy birthday to the smartest, funniest, and most beautiful person in the world… Wait, did I say “to”? I mean from.
61. I thought about sending you a birthday card making fun of your age, but decided against it. Remember this when writing your will.
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65. Happy birthday to you! I wish you get everything in life as easily as you gain weight.
66. This birthday means it’s time to start treating your kids like gold. They will soon choose your nursing home.
69. Do you think you are old? You’re not old… you were old last year. This year you are ancient.
70. It’s okay to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I’ve already alerted the fire department.
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71. Finally, you’re 21 years old and can legally do everything you’ve been doing since you were 14.
73. I hope your birthday leaves you less hot and bothered than reading 50 Shades of Grey. Happy Birthday.
75. May God give you the appetite to enjoy your big day to the fullest, despite the fact that you are older and more wrinkled today than you were yesterday.
76. So, I was watching Jurassic Park and I remembered it was your birthday. Happy birthday old dinosaur!
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78. I will never send you one of those greeting cards that make fun of your age. I know how old people are sensitive to their age.
79. Happy Birthday! I hope you get dope and happiness. Regret, hope and happiness.80. Lighter? We will need a flamethrower to light your candles.
81. The best thing about your birthday is that you’ve reached the age where you can say, “These kids don’t know anything. When I was young…” and then proceeded to babble all day, annoying everyone around you.
85. Congratulations on being a year older and still maintaining such a low level of maturity; you are truly an inspiration.
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86. We all knew this day was coming. This is not bad luck; it’s nature. It’s best to just suck
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